Maternity is self-learning
Maternity has to do with an inexplicable level of self-discovery and full-blown unconditional love.
Questions popped into my head since pregnancy:
- How is it that everything the mother feels affects the baby?
- Why or how does a baby choose to be born in the womb of a specific mother?
- What is the purpose of this new being in my life?
- How and when does the baby’s soul settle in the physical body?
- How does the mother share her energy with this new baby, both inside and outside the womb?
Over time I was looking for these answers and acquiring this new knowledge. I felt a very strong call to connect from a deeper perspective with this beautiful process. It just all fit together, it all made more sense than ever.
I also felt the fears and worries that overwhelmed me from time to time and a deep sense of loneliness for not being able to share everything that bothered me with openness towards anyone around me. Until I decided to observe those emotions that came from time to time and instead of immersing myself in them, I thanked them for opening these sensations in me, I closed my eyes together with a breath that helped me release them and return them to where they belong. The word “trust” came to me, for me a clear sign that even though it seemed a rather lonely stage, I was never alone, that soul that accompanied me all the time and that had already chosen me, was wanting to tell me that everything will be well.
There are various articles and workshops that talk about the practical, the physical and emotional development of the baby, but as much as I searched, I did not find much material about the mother’s process and the connection at the energetic level. Something so simple and well-known but little deciphered, such as: That the energetic connection between breast and baby can affect nausea in a higher or less level – It is a very silenced issue and even without much research.
During my postpartum period, I had the opportunity to share with many women who were spending a period alone and with these same unresolved questions on their minds. I felt that each woman was like a pressure cooker about to burst into tears due to all those new emotions and sensations, many expressed that they did not know who to share this with or they simply felt alone and cheated. Others said that even though they had an excellent partner by their side, they could not connect in this area because they could not put words to what they felt. Meeting the standards of the perfect smiling mother is very difficult in a society full of expectations.
To each of those women that I had the opportunity to embrace, listen to, empathize and contain, I said the following:
You are simply the way you should be. The judgment does not come from outside, it comes from your own expectations and fears. You can create your own reallity from within.
It is not about trying to be the perfect mother so as not to repeat your own childhood story. It is about looking at your childhood and realizing what patterns you are recognizing and repeating today, because there is the opportunity to work and heal something great in you.
What did all these women have in common then?
They were facing a shadow to which they had turned their backs since childhood.
Everything that we do not want to talk about, that bothers us, that conditioned us in the first years of life comes out at that moment as a memory of the unconscious and becomes a mirror to reflect that injured girl.
At that moment, I understood the importance of reuniting with that injured girl, giving her a place in this new life, hugging her and telling her that everything will be fine.
We all have childhood wounds, even if we have had the most loving parents or the best conditions during upbringing. These wounds are accumulated situations over time that condition our ego and shape it into adulthood. To the extent that we dare not look at those wounds, they will be there, kept waiting to come out and heal at every opportunity. Both as mothers or fathers they are reflected and touched by their children to heal these wounds.
Today is the day to embrace that injured boy or girl and give him a place in our heart, because it is through that girl that your baby seeks to connect, feel and love.
Everything is going to be fine.
Thank you for reading this article.
share it with someone you think it might need to read this.
Barbara Palacios Dahl.